It has been months since I've posted. 2007 was a difficult year for me and my family - too many life events that wore away spiritually, emotionally and physically. I'm working on regaining my footing and more importantly, finding my calling or vocation at this time in my life. At sixty years, one would think I would know what I should do when I grow-up; but no. Now it is what should I be as I grow older. This, for me, has required a cycle of regrets, gratitudes, what could have beens, surprises of grace, lost dreams and new hopes. And in a physical setting, I still find a bit foreign - rural, Southern, small town, beachy, and remote.
Not many handbooks or guidelines for this,for someone overeducated in UU theology, history, church organization and human dynamics. I heard Gini Courter say in a meeting last summer, that our best lay leaders go to seminary and then we ruin them. (assuming they don't graduate). I don't agree with that but I can see where she is coming from. Is it a little knowledge is a dangerous thing? Or ministers look much more human after taking courses with them? Or we lay folk lose our patience for being spoon-fed a dumbed-down theology with no where to turn for challenging interchange or collegial spirit? I'm still not sure, but food for thought.
I'm seeking my vocation or calling in other ways.. One thing about small communities, it is easier to get closer to community outreach and calls for social justice. So taking matters into my own hands, feeling a calling, I'm stretching out to bring my computer and internet skills to local outreach programs with E-newsletters, blogsites and webmistressing.
The hate and fear of illegal - and legal - Latinos in my state (some call it Juan Crow laws), has resulted in a blog, http://america-united.blogspot.com/. The lack of networking of social justice and community outreach programs (you have to read three papers to get all the news), has resulted in weekly CommonGood Enews. I've published for three weeks now and hope to continue. See http://commongood-nc.blogspot.com/ to see some of the articles. And then there is the League of Women Voters of my county, the home of good ol' boys. The League is procedure and precedent bound which I personally find stifling but perhaps I can manage my way through without ruffling too many feathers.
After being totally useless in my district role as growth chair, I'm hoping that 2008 will bring far better things than 2007. We will be having FOUR Growth Summits in our District this year. And I will shortly launch a district blog called 'Growth Matters'.
So I'm still dancing. Which brings me back to where I first started today, reading article by George M. Hillman, Jr., Called to Purpose and Meaning, published in the Alban News weekly. I quote:
Slowing Down to Dance
Some people think a call from God can only come through some type of cataclysmic emotional experience. In reality, most people recognize aspects of God’s leadings as gradual in nature as they experience life. The key to learning the dance steps of discernment is prayer along with sound biblical study. You discern the leadings of God in the dancing relationship. You must remain in close communication with God to have any chance of discerning well. Instead of focusing your prayers on God revealing God’s will, focus on God creating godly character and wisdom in you. When your actions, thoughts, and desires reflect God’s priorities, then you are in a better place to discern well.
The problem with discernment is that many of us are so busy doing our own thing—moving too fast to dance the slow dance of discernment with God. You can only hear the heartbeat of God in your life when you slow down, quiet yourself, and invite God to dance with you. To slow down and listen takes a concerted and countercultural effort. The lights and sounds of society distract us if we are not careful. With so much vying for our attention, we must be intentional about disconnecting and taking time to hear what God is saying.
I love that one sentence "You can only hear the heartbeat of God in your life when you slow down, quiet yourself, and invite God to dance with you."
In dancing and enduring faith,
Nancy
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