Unitarian in the England in the 1600 to 1800’s was a time of conscience. Ministers searched their conscience to decide if they were willing to act because of their belief or disbelief in the Trinitarian doctrine. Church of England clergy were bound to use the Anthanism creed in public worship thirteen times of year. Wilbur states that: When the controversy was at its heights, ministers would alter words of the liturgy; Clarke himself had said in his book that “every person may reasonably agree to such forms, whenever he can in any sense at all reconcile them with Scripture.” In other words, one might put upon them any sense he pleased. Many adopted this principle and subscribed with large mental reservations, defending this practice as right, and it has continued more or less down to the present day. Any minister refusing to conform was required to give up his pulpit and his living.”
Some did ministers did act on their conscience and would not conduct worship that included expressions that they no longer regarded as true. “In 1662, about 2,500 of the ablest, most learned, and most godly ministers of England, who with great regret left the Church forever. “The “Nonconformist conscience” became henceforth a fixed element in the moral life of England”
“While the more timid kept their thoughts to themselves, others made no secret of them. Several altered the liturgy, and left it to the bishops to take action against them if they thought best. Some got the parish clerk to read for them parts of the service which they were unwilling to read themselves. Others who choose to act included Thomas Emlyn and William Robertson. But many others decided they “could not afford to keep a conscience.’
Lindsay himself struggled with his conscience. Priestley advised him to stay where he was and change the church from within. Eventually Lindsay left the church. Wilbur describes him as have “enjoyed such peace from a good conscience as he had not known for years”
I sympathized with those that struggled with their conscience within the established Church. When I was a Mormon, I taught adult Sunday school. I normally kept my thoughts to myself. I would alter lessons – and left it to the Mormon bishop to take action against me if he thought best. I would reconcile “in any sense of all” doctrine with what I personally believed. What that means is that I tried very hard to not say anything which I didn’t believe. At the same time, I tried very hard not to openingly say anything against the Church doctrine. One easy way was to have someone else read or express what I didn’t agree with. Sound familiar? It was the way that Church of England ministers dealt with their disagreements with doctrine.
It is not a very vibrant way to live. The circle of what one can say gets smaller and smaller. I personally felt I lost my sense of who I was and was not conscious of my own voice and soul. I didn’t trust myself or others.
Eventually I was asked change positions – to become a teacher of Sunday school teachers. At that point, I said in good conscience I would not teach teachers that they had to take their lessons out of ‘the manual’. If that was what was wanted, they would have to find someone else. And that is what they wanted. So ended my personal struggles of conscience. I left my Mormon congregation and never returned.
I recognize myself in the position of the ministers of the Church of England. This recognition is with some sympathy. I’m sympathetic about how one cannot "afford a conscience” It isn’t always money; it may be family, connections, and heritage. Since leaving the Mormon Church, I have met a number of people, particularly men, who feel they would lose everything – their children, their career, their history - if they left the Mormon Church.
I believe that this inability to act on conscience takes it toll on people emotionally – it takes it toll on one sense of self, one’s conscious. Two interesting words that sound very much alike: conscience and conscious. According to an online dictionary, Conscience is a noun, and it means moral awareness and urges the individual to prefer ethical actions over immoral actions. It is the source of good judgment. Conscious is an adjective. It means environmental and personal awareness. It is the awareness of one's own surroundings, one’s personal being, and one’s feelings.
I personally think the two words are much related in our contemporary lives today. It is hard to have a conscience to act upon unless one is aware (conscious) of one’s personal, emotional well-being and history. Until one is conscious of one’s own power, one’s sense of self, it is difficult to act upon one’s conscience.
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